Come and get to know us...

This is our story: Ryan and I were set up on a blind date by my sister and his sister-in-law. I was living in Utah at the time and he was in Washington. I was going to go up there for my nephew's baptism and it would be great timing to go on a date with Ryan. Nicole and Danna were thrilled that we actually were okay with going out. We emailed back and forth a few times and sent some pictures. In an email he asked if it would be okay to call me, so we got to talk on the phone a couple times before we met each other. We knew that we would get along well after those emails and phone calls. We went on a fabulous date to dinner and an Arena football game. It was great and Ryan loved that I knew what was going on and loved sports. At the end of the date he asked if he could see me the next day before I left to go back to Utah. We played games with his family the next night and had a great time. We talked for a long time that night and wondered when we could see each other again. And he kissed me good night!
Ryan called me every day that week and one day he asked if I would go to a concert with him on a Tuesday night. I didn't think there was anyway that I could fly up and go, but I worked it out that I would fly there on Tuesday and fly back to Utah on Wednesday. It was great to see him again.
He flew to Utah a couple weeks after that. We were just hitting it off so well. One night as we were talking he opened up. I knew that he had had cancer and had been through so much a few years earlier. We had talked about that, but this night he went into much more depth--especially the side effects of all the treatments that he had undergone. He told me how he would probably never be able to have children; he had saved some sperm, but it had been after a full round of chemo and was not very healthy sperm. This kind of shocked me, but I cared about Ryan and wanted to pursue this relationship. I wasn't going to end things because of this news.
We continued our long distance relationship. In June, after about 6 weeks of going back and forth, I made the decision to move to Washington to be closer to him. Timing of the blind date was perfect so that I could make this decision. I had recently graduated from BYU and was working at two part time jobs that I could easily leave. In July I moved to Washington. I found a job and in August Ryan proposed. We were married in October. From the first date to our wedding was not quite 6 months. I swore I would never do that, oh well, he was the right one, at the right time, in the right place. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. It was awesome! After being married for about 6 months, we both individually decided that it was time to add to our family of two. We knew that we would need to see the fertility specialist and do invitro fertilization (IVF) in order to have a baby. As we went through the IVF treatments, we had all the faith in the world that it was going to happen. The doctor told us that there was not a very good chance that Ryan's cryoperserved sperm would work, but we had faith.
I went to the doctor every other day for ultrasounds, gave myself shots, and prayed that this would work. We went and visited my parents and family. One of my sisters told me that she had just found out that she was pregnant. She wanted to let me know before anyone else. I was excited to think that we would be pregnant at the same time. The next week I went in for the extraction of my eggs. They were going to inject the sperm and let us know if any of the eggs were fertilized.
On Friday morning we got a call from the nurse, "I am so sorry, none of the eggs were fertilized." I couldn't believe it. I hung up the phone in sobs. We had faith, why didn't it work? Why did we get the impression that we were supposed to start our family? My mom called shortly after that and I just cried, "It didn't work, it didn't work." Everyone's hearts were breaking with ours. We went to Ryan's parent's house. His dad gave us both blessings and gave us some good advice. I don't think I stopped crying all day. Every time one of my sisters would call I had to relive that pain and heartache.
Over the next few months we had to grieve with the loss of the child we never had.
We eventually felt blessed that without being married a year, we knew that we were infertile and didn't have to deal with the month to month pain of not being pregnant. By the end of the year we were ready to start the adoption process. When we called LDS Family Services, they told us that we would have to wait until we had been married for two years before we could proceed. We asked for them to make a special exception, but they couldn't. So we waited. We toyed with the idea of the foster-adopt program, but after attending classes and filling out paperwork knew that it was not the right decision for us.
We have now been married for three years. Paperwork has been filled out, reference letters have been written, and we have met with our caseworker. We recently moved into our new house and have completed our home study. There is a room that has no other purpose than the future baby room. Now that we are in our house, things are feeling like they are moving along and things will happen sooner than later. It is starting to feel more real and that we could be parents soon.
I have learned that adoption is not going to cure our infertility. I may still yearn for the desire to be pregnant and have a child that looks like me, but I can find joy in adoption, and more importantly motherhood. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and our little family. He loves us and cares about us. I don't know what to expect in the next few months as we are approved for adoption, but we will take it step by step. We know it may be an emotional rollercoaster, but in the end we hope to have the chance to bring a child into our home and someday take him or her to the temple and be sealed together as a family. "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." -Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love It"

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

6 months closer

Today is officially 6 months since becoming approved for adoption. Tonight we celebrated our infertility and that we are 6 months closer to becoming parents by going to dinner at Qdoba.


We got to babysit our 6-week-old nephew, Oliver, on Saturday. It was so fun to have a little baby in our home. He got lots of cuddle time and kisses. He was so sweet and happy. If I ask Santa for a baby like him, do you think he will bring me one?


We taught him to love football.


And the Mariners...which includes the Ken Griffey Jr doll that we have.



Ava, our 4-year-old niece, came to play and make cookies after Church on Sunday. We had lots of fun. She is always my favorite helper. We then settled down and read some books while the cookies baked.




We love all our nieces and nephews. And we love when they come and play! They are welcome anytime, (just let us know beforehand because our Christmas tree is blocking the front door!).

Posted by Alicia at 8:06 PM 2 comments
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Monday, November 30, 2009

Growing up adopted


I have 9 cousins who were adopted and one of my cousins has 2 daughters who were adopted. My family loves adoption. It has been such a blessing to all of us.


I asked one of my cousins, Leslie, to help out by answering some questions about her adoption. She is a super cute 17-year-old. She was adopted from Guatemala when she was a baby. I remember she was the most beautiful baby. She was so happy and loved to laugh. And she still does. She recently won Miss Idaho Days. She is an amazing dancer.





Ok well first of all i think it's amazing that you're doing this!


How do you feel about being adopted?
I was so young that it didn't really have an effect on me because when they were still getting used to me i was too little to remember it. So i've never felt like i didn't belong or i wasn't loved. I love the fact that I'm adopted and different. I'm proud of who I am!


When did you first come to know that you were adopted?
Ummmm I don't really know. I've always known I was adopted so it's just always been normal there was never a shock


Did you ask questions about your adoption?
I always ask questions about being adopted. My parents can't always answer them but I know that I'll find out my answers someday.


How would your parents explain to you about your adoption?
They would always tell me how my birthmom loved me so much that she placed me with a family who could take care of me and love me. It's never been a bad thing that I've been adopted, it's always been positive.


Is there anything you wish your parents had done differently?
All kids have problems with their parents so of course there are things I wish they'd do different but nothing about my adoption. I just wish they'd take me back to go see what it's like. But i also with they would have kept for the the culture with me. I don't know that much about it and I wish I did.


Is there anything else that you would like to say about adoption?
Just love your child as much as any kid. Some times you have to love adopted kids more but Ithink if you get them where there younger it's easier. I'd say shoot for before walking and talking stage so you can raise them how you want them to be raised the older you get the harder it is. I wish you the best of luck! Send me a picture when you have your baby! I want updates on all of the adoption! Love ya, Leslie
Thanks Leslie! Love ya too.
Posted by Alicia at 8:15 PM 2 comments
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Sunday, November 29, 2009

71 people, 41 pies, and so much fun

Pies, pies, and more pies
Lots of us playing games


I love Thanksgiving. I love going to my Grandma's for Thanksgiving. She lives in a small, small farm town. Ryan and I decided last minute that we were going to go, and luckily it all worked out so that we could go. There were 71 people for dinner! And we had 41 pies! We played lots of fun games. It was a great time to be with my family.
Another great part of this year is that my best friend and family just moved to the same small town as my Grandma. Random and crazy that they live there. I got to hang out with her and it was so fun. I went to visit them in Indiana last year and now it is so nice that they live closer. I can't wait to go visit them again.
We also have a great family tradition for Black Friday...We go to the temple and as a family we participate in sealings and the younger kids do baptisms. There were 49 members of my family that attended the temple. We did 221 sealings, 240 baptisms, and 240 confirmations. We were in a sealing room with my parents, three of my sisters and their husbands. It was such a great experience. We got very emotional as we thought about taking our children to the temple someday and being sealed to them. What an amazing blessing that will be. I love them temple and I am so grateful to know that families can be eternal because of the temple.
Posted by Alicia at 3:02 PM 1 comments
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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thankful!

While I am eating turkey and ice cream and pie at my Grandma's...

I am so thankful for adoption. It is the way that we are going to be able to build our family and I am so excited.

Wanna read some good heart-warming adoption stories???

Go here

Or here

Or even here

Or here

This one is good too if you have a few minutes and some kleenex

Enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by Alicia at 11:11 AM 0 comments
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Adoption Advocacy

At the adoption conference I went to a few weeks ago I went to a class on adoption advocacy taught by Lindsey. These are the things that she presented:

What does it mean to be an adoption advocate?
  • Dispelling myths and clarifying misconceptions
  • Opening your mouth
  • Helping people use correct terminology
  • Sharing your passion for and testimony of adoption
  • Educating
  • Increasing awareness of adoption

Even busy people can advocate for adoption

  • Everyone is busy, but everyone has time to be an adoption advocate
  • "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities" Stephen Covey
  • If you feel that it's important, you can make time for it

Anyone can advocate--no matter how much time you have

  • Anything you do--no matter how big or small--is better than nothing
  • There are things that you can do by yourself, with family, with friends, with your community or neighborhood

A couple things that you can do now:

  • Keep adoption info in your wallet/purse to distribute when prompted--pass along cards
  • Talk about adoption/Pass out materials to doctors, hairdressers, waiters, teachers, friends, family
  • If you already have a blog: Add a list of couples who are hoping to adopt (or just my little button I give you permission to use that picture); link to their profiles or adoption blogs
  • Add the Its About Love button to your blog

I know that adoption is on my mind a whole lot. I really want to help out and not just because we are desperately wanting to adopt. I just think that it is a great thing to be involved with. I know the struggles we have been through and are going through and if I can make it easier for another couple, that is awesome.

Be an adoption advocate.

Posted by Alicia at 11:57 PM 1 comments
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Monday, November 23, 2009

Day 161 Approved and Searching


Truthfully, I thought that once we got approved something would happen quickly. Or at least that is what I really hoped for. That is one of the reasons why I was so urgent to become approved. Our caseworker at the time didn't "get" that urgency that we were feeling. Now after 161 days being approved, I don't really know what to think or feel. I know that our baby is going to come to us at the right time, but I just didn't think that we wouldn't know when that right time was by now.


161 days


23 weeks


5 months, 1 week, and 1 day


We continue to pray that we will be parents. We continue to pray for the birth mother of our child that she will have strength and courage to make the right choice. And that she will be supported in that decision. We continue to pray that she will come in contact with our information and recognize us when she does. It will happen, I just know it. Please pray with us.
Posted by Alicia at 10:07 PM 1 comments
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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Pass Along Cards Part 2



Pass-Along Cards are a good way to get the word out that we are hoping to adopt! We pass them out to family, friends, coworkers, ward members, college roommates, doctors and nurses, the lady that cuts my hair. My sister has given them to her ob/gyn.

I have given out many pass along cards to family and friends. We don't expect that every single one given out will result in a baby, but we have faith that somehow they will get to the right person. I still have lots of cards so if you need more, please let me know. I will send you some.
Right now I have a stack of my pass-along cards as well as a few other couples' pass-along cards in my purse. So if they don't like us, maybe they will like some of my friends who are trying to adopt.

Please help spread the word.
Posted by Alicia at 8:32 PM 0 comments
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